2005 Founder's Day Award
Recipient
remarks
Citation for Nathaniel G Butler '64
Awarded at assembly on May 20, 2005
Nathaniel G. Butler—For over 30 years you have
thrown yourself into a host of volunteer roles for
Exeter: class agent, class president, director of
the general alumni/ae association, and reunion and
regional committee membership. Since 1991, in an unofficial
capacity, you have helped the Academy reconstruct
its relationship with gay and lesbian alumni/ae, and
been both a catalyst for, and a witness to, profound
changes at the school. The breadth of your service
to Exeter and its people, and the depth of care with
which this service has been rendered, are exemplary.
Nat, you came to Exeter in 1960 from Beverly, Massachusetts.
You made high honors, served as president of your
class and of the student council, and swam varsity.
Your classmates remember you as a true friend and
a leader, someone whose gift for relating to all kinds
of people flowered early and never faded. They refer
to you as “Mr. 1964,” a beacon, the glue
that has kept your class together through turbulent
decades by dint of persistent and affectionate communication,
a gift to the class. What you have said about your
time at Exeter is this: “I learned … about
getting constructively involved in my community …
about developing and maintaining friends, and how
to keep working at something. I began to learn about
integrity and how to distinguish what is important
for me in life from what is not so important.”
Fortunately for us, Exeter has been among the important
things. You have brought energy and enthusiasm to
various reunion leadership roles, to alumni/ae council
gatherings, to Boston area phonathons, to your other
committee work, and to your many friendships with
students, faculty and staff. Your 20 years as a class
agent were fruitful ones that brought a dramatic and
sustained increase in the number of classmates choosing
to share their resources with the Academy. You have
taken every opportunity to both value Exeter’s
past and know it as it is today, and have consistently
demonstrated a deep interest in the well being of
others with whom you share an Exeter affiliation,
thereby helping us realize the notion of an extended
Exeter family.
You also decided, after a stint in the Navy and while
attending the Harvard Business School, that it was
important to be honest about being a gay man, even
if that was difficult for some to accept. And it became
important to you that the Exeter you love so much
should first acknowledge and hear the perspectives
of her gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered constituents,
and then become a welcoming community for these individuals.
In 1991, you and others began to make this happen.
Success has come largely through your willing contribution
of a personal voice that is both representative and
unique. You have conducted focus groups, arranged
special alumni/ae gatherings across the country and
made numerous visits to campus as a speaker and to
meet with the Gay Straight Alliance. You have helped
student listeners be better peer counselors and advised
Exeter on parts of its health curriculum. For more
than 10 years, you published a newsletter for gay
and lesbian alumni/ae and you worked hard to make
reunions for all members of the Exeter family as inclusive
as possible.
Nat, your most important gift to Exeter is the generous
spirit with which you undertake all that you do. On
the occasion of your 25th reunion you wrote: “Whether
or not, and to what extent, we are accepted in the
world makes a huge difference in our personal lives,
and makes it either easier or more difficult to proceed
toward our goals. As we help ourselves to develop
and enrich our own lives, we also acquire increasingly
the capacity to be available to others so they may
do the same.” Through your actions—inviting
other Exonians to participate in the life of the school;
creating a scholarship to honor your deceased father;
making a donation in honor of an Exonian you never
met who died of AIDS; presenting Exeter with a painting,
Cliff Gate, done by the life partner of a
deceased classmate and friend; or speaking openly
to students about your own life and loves—you
have modeled for all of us the kind of consistent
thoughtfulness and humility that help make non
sibi a tangible element in our community.
Nat, like the bridge of blue sky between cliffs in
the painting Cliff Gate, which hangs in Jeremiah
Smith Hall above a plaque that honors the importance
of connections between people, you have created bridges
at Exeter between generations and between points of
view, helping us learn to trust in what exploring
the unknown can offer. We are delighted to present
you with the 2005 Founder’s Day Award.
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